PRESENT MEMORY FILE 0044

I'm 1000 years old when I finally sink into Horus' car. I feel like every bone in body has rubberized. Each way I lean leaves my spine bending and my shoulders sliding a little too far.

Horus insists on buying me another chicken on the the way back. I've already agreed to so much already, why the hell not? What's the harm in another chicken? I stretch my legs out under the safety box in front of my seat. Horus parks at Justice and I wait in the car while he goes inside. It is bright in there and every empty seat is gleamingly clean. I can see the chicken graphic running across the wall. The lights sparkle on the shiny black car parked next to us. My head's still spinning about the terms I agreed to. I have to remind myself that it doesn't matter, because I'm not going to talk to any of them again. I don't think I have to talk to them again. I was supposed to remember a code to a house in Palm Springs. Something to do with Renault's daughter? Was it her house? Maybe I wrote it in my handheld. Why can't I remember what happened?

"The 38th of August," I can remember them saying over and over. Making me say it back to them. Does August have a 38th? I don't think it does.

Horus opens his door and hands 2 hot yellow bags through to me.

"Could you put one of those down in the back?" he asks. "That one's for me."

"Thanks," I say, taking them from him before he lurches down into the drivers seat. I nestle the bag between a briefcase and a few boxes behind the seats and rest the other bag on my lap. It’s very warm on my legs.

"That fluffy person on the sofa, you know, when we came in... was that Renault's daughter?" I ask Horus.

"I don't know." He laughs. "Maybe? I don't know." He scratches his eyebrow. "I didn't even know he had a daughter."

He keeps looking over at me and I get the feeling Horus expects me to discuss our part of the deal but I'm not sure what it is. Maybe I could say something to coax him into recalling it for me. WAIT I DON'T CARE! Why do I keep forgetting that it doesn't matter? Was I actually getting something out of this? Uhg fuck it. I just want to go to bed. Today was so long and weird and exhausting and it looks like there is a police car behind us. Gross. I give Horus an address several blocks away from my building and work on his handheld to set up his new CASH account. It's difficult to see in the dark car, and I have to close one eye to see straight as we pass through the mountains.

"So when can we work together again?" Horus asks. "How can I contact you?"

Fuck.

"When it's time, I'll stop by the library again, alright?" I try.

"Isn't it better to send a message first?" he asks.

"No. Those messages aren't safe. Neither are calls. It's best to meet in person. But don't worry, we're gonna make out pretty well on this deal," I guess... was I still supposed to give him a CASH cut? I wait for him to ask more questions but he doesn't ask any. Is he as fucked up as I am right now?

My legs are burning and I have to shift the chicken bag down to the floor. I lean back in the seat and watch the buildings pass. We are deep into the city now. There is a police car behind us. Is that the same cop? Are they actually following us? I tell Horus there is construction coming up and to take a few extra turns to avoid it. The police car continues to follow us. I thank Horus for the chicken and the sweater and the hookup with Renault. He seems flustered and stammers a bit about it. I tell him as slowly as I can that I'm going to have to jump out of the car a little earlier than planned.

"Okay," he says, but it takes a few moments for him to understand what I just said. "Should I pull over?" he asks.

"No, just... at the next stop light, I'm going to get out. So you may need to turn off the car for a second so that I can open the door," I explain.

"Oh sure! I can do that!" He seems perfectly pleased to help. What is this guy's problem? The next light is green. The police car is still right behind us. If they were really following, would they follow so close? Yes they would. The next light is red. Horus turns off the car and unlocks the door.

"Bye," I say quickly and zoom out of the door and across the street as fast as I can. There aren't very many cars going through the green light but they are going very fast. I am glad to be rid of them and I turn right down the next street and then into an alley, still moving west. I zigzag across, moving closer and closer to my building. I see a police car but their sirens aren't on. Did they see me too? I duck into an open parking garage and sit down. How long should I wait? I am still a few blocks away. Am I leading them right to me? There is a security camera on me. I wave to it and give it a thumbs up. I need to pee so bad. I should just head straight home. The chicken under my arm is probably getting cold. I wonder what it tastes like cold. I put my nose in the bag and inhale deeply. Amazing. Okay, I'm heading home. I want to give some of this to Mix.

There're no police. I'm fine